Genre Reflection #2: Inside the Actors Studio

Genre Reflection #2: Inside the Actors Studio

We have a special story to tell this evening ladies and gentleman. I have the pleasure of introducing a great talent, and he will join us later to open up about his latest and much anticipated feature film. This film had been in development for many years, hype for this picture was white-hot in the summer of 2011, and the audience was bubbling with anticipation when they had been told the film was going to be released in May of 2013. However, there were some unforeseen setbacks and instead of debuting in 2013 the film was pushed back to an unknown date. While in limbo, the director and producers pulled out. This once highly anticipated film was now without direction, moving closer and closer to being thrown into the scrap heap. Left for dead and barely holding onto life, the film had managed to find a foothold. A small, independent studio, had picked up the rights to the film believing that there was still a story to tell. We now take a look into the life of the lead actor and how his life hinged on the failure and eventual success of the film.

Joshua West, the lead in the film, and master thespian from the famed Mel Brooks Academy of Improvisational Acting, was ready to break free from his comedy upbringings and test his skills as a dramatic actor. In the spring of 2011, weeks into filming, West had been tested by the fates. During a routine CT scan for possible appendicitis, doctors had found something many of them had never seen, or heard of before. West had an aneurysm located on his superior mesenteric vein and doctors were quite unsure of how to handle the situation. After months of meeting with specialists it was decided that the best option was to do nothing since the aneurysm posed little threat at this time. Mr. West continued with shooting the film as scheduled and went on as if nothing had happened. We had learned in an interview that West was having trouble keeping his mental state intact in the months following the CT scan because he was unsure of his future. This doubt caused his on screen performance to suffer, and eventually, without word, walk away from the film in late 2011 for personal reasons.

The December 2013 issue of Vanity Fair West stated, “The doctors told me everything would be fine, but the lack of medical journals covering this type of diagnosis caused me to believe that my time on this Earth would be limited.” By keeping a stiff upper lip and maintaining a stoic approach to life, West had internalized all his feelings of anxiety, causing stress and relentless doubt to creep into his psyche. Months after filming began he would have to take leave in order to recover from a mental and physical collapse in early 2012.  West’s breakdown caused his body and mind to fatigue at a frightening rate and his family was concerned for his well-being. No longer finding solace in his work, or his hobbies of playing rugby, lifting weights, and being active, West spent most of his time inside, depressed and wasting away while the world passed him by. This went on for roughly eight months until he decided to seek professional help.

West claimed that seeking help for his anxiety and depression was the best thing that he could have done for himself. After a brief encounter with a vagabond West decided it was time to either heal or give up. “I saw that there were no fundamental differences between this man and myself. He was homeless, and I was well on my way there, I lived in the backroom of a warehouse for seven months. We were both essentially moving in the same direction in life, and that’s when I knew I had hit rock bottom. I could either wither away into nothingness which I had already done a fairly good job of so far, or I could decide to make my life worth living again.” West pushed himself to come back into the world. In a few short months since seeking medical attention he returned to the rugby pitch, began exercising again, and decided to dedicate himself to making a return to acting. “I had to change my thinking habits. I studied what aggravated my anxiety and depression, and decided to clear those thoughts and activities from my life. No longer was I stressing out over things not within my control, instead, I learned to embrace the random; embrace whatever may come. I see myself as the ponds surface now, calm, tranquil, pleasing, and when life’s hardships are thrown onto me I can now accept them, push them out away from me, to the edges of the pond, until they are soon forgotten”.

News spread in early 2013 that West was wanting to get back into the spotlight. The large production studios questioned his desire to become great again. They did not want another financial nightmare that had ensued just two short years ago, and declined to offer him any roles in their upcoming films. West sought out a well-respected independent studio, Wichita Screen Uprising, WSU for short, and asked if there was any possibility of earning a feature role. As it turned out they had been in the process of securing the rights to his old movie, planning to resurrect the film he had to leave behind in 2011. West jumped at the chance to take on this challenge. “There was no greater obstacle than this film. If I was going to come full circle and redirect my life in a positive way, then I had to finish what I started four years ago. I am no longer the brash actor I was in my early twenties. I have gained nuances of wisdom and perspective that allow me to see my role in this film as something greater than myself.”

The film is scheduled to be released in May 2016, three years after the intended release date. West has been quoted as saying that the development of the film provides parallels and personification to that of his own journey. “This movie has been mired with delays, financial strains, producers leaving, directors quitting, and actors walking out on their role, yet here it is today, fighting for a chance to be seen”.   

I would like you all to stand and join me in welcoming Joshua West to the stage.

That's a Wrap (On My Seven Week Teaching Unit).

First off I would just like to say that I was utterly terrified of this semester. I imagined this fall to be when I realized that teaching just wasn't for me and possibly I should look into another career. Maybe I should go retro and be a pager salesman, or what about going to work for an apple store and then I can use my man-bun to become the ultimate hipster. After seven weeks of formulating my own lessons and teaching my students, it is safe to say that those fears have subsided and are now replaced with the paralyzing anxiety of teaching multiple classes the entire spring, but hey, c'est la vie. 

This semesters teaching has shown me a few things about myself as a teacher, and about teaching in general. I have learned through my seven weeks of teaching that as hard as you try to plan a lesson that goes smoothly and will be a hit with the students, your plan still has a great chance of falling flat on its face. I created a lesson plan that I thought would promote great collaboration and discussion between the students, but instead of pure awesomeness flowing from student to student,  they all looked at each other with blank stares. I thought it was pretty funny, especially since I have days when I correct students for talking during class, but once I have assigned time to do talking, they lose their ability to be chatterboxes. 

Having had lessons that fall flat was not such a big deal for me since I have a small classroom and could refocus them on what the objective of the lesson was for that day. I have learned that I sometimes fall into the trap as the friendly teacher guy. This means that the students want to connect with me. Which is fine. They listen to me when we speak one on one. Again, which is fine. And they tend to get hurt when I get stern and correct their undesirable behavior. Which is not fine. I don't want the students to be hurt or upset when I have to correct their behavior. Many of their other teachers correct their behavior and the students realize they were in the wrong and move on. In some circumstances with me it has been different. I have a talkative bunch of students and I had to correct a group of them because they would not keep quiet during class. I got onto them and they stopped talking, but after class one student from the group said, "I think Mr. West doesn't like me." Which is not true, but I have seen that when I discipline students they look like a little puppy who got yelled out for tearing up the furniture. They feel I have forsaken them. Maybe, not forsaken, but they are just in awe that I got all teachery on them. 

I want to create a persona as a friendly teacher, and not their friend. Author and educator Rick Wormeli states that, "We can grow closer to students when we share a common interest or work on long-term projects, but in every interaction, we remain teacher/student, mentor/mentee, not true friend, and this is wise." This is great advice for young teachers and especially student teachers because as novice educators we may see being friendly as a great way to gain student trust and likability, but there should be a direct line between educator and student. This will help insure that students see you as an authority figure and not their buddy they come and hang out with during 3^rd hour English.

My short time as the main educator for my classroom has shown me that teaching is not as daunting as I once thought it to be. Yes, creating a lesson plan and an entire unit as a new teacher can be overwhelming at first, but with the use of mapping out your semester with outlines new teachers can make their teaching experience less of a stressful ordeal. My MT showed me how to map out the unit I was teaching. We found our starting date and our end date. We agreed that 7 weeks would be sufficient time for our students to complete their book as well as their essay. Once we found the beginning and end dates we started filling in the class periods with brief description of what each day would entail. This made it easier when creating my lesson plan because I already knew what they kids were supposed to be learning that day, now I had to create learning activities to help achieve the goals and standards connecting to the unit. Having an IUG (Integrated Unit Guide) has helped tremendously because it gives the standards necessary for the unit and you can choose from the assigned materials that are provided. For experienced teachers this may seem cumbersome, but as a rookie I was more than willing to follow any suggestions the IUG had offered me.

My unit plan this semester was a thrilling time for me because I got to see myself in action as a teacher for the first time. There were times I struggles and times I surprised myself with my teaching skills, but I was always learning from the good and the bad. Now that my unit plan has ended I have stepped back and am now observing/co-teaching again and I am completely bored not being in control of my classroom. I thought I would be happy once my unit plan was over, but now I am experiencing a postpartum depression of sorts because I miss having the excitement of teaching my students every day.

Articles Cited:

Ferlazzo, L. (2011, October 25). Response: Can Teachers Be Friends With Students? -- Part One. Retrieved November 7, 2015.

Sharing Experiences and Story Telling

To be completely candid I was skeptical on attending the KATE conference. I had heard from experienced teachers that teaching conferences were usually a bore and they spent the majority of their time spacing out on their phones. I didn't expect this conference to fit their descriptions of their own conferences, but I was wary of what I was walking in to. I was a little upset that I had to attend because I have been teaching my students for seven weeks now, we are finishing up an essay, and I want to be there every step of the way for them, but the after 12 hours of KATE conference presentations I was glad I stepped away from the classroom to attend. 

There were two presentations in particular that I enjoyed. The first was a seminar from my 10th grade English teacher, Kelly Frederick, joined by Katherine Whepley and Brieun Scott. Their session concerned itself with taking the students deeper into collaborative group discussions. This meeting gave the audience ideas and worksheets for stimulating students into digging beneath the surface of their reading and come up with their own ideas regarding metaphors, symbols, alliteration, imagery, and other literary devices. I am always intrigued with trying to find ways to get students to discuss literature and discuss it well.

On the second day there was a presentation from two former WSU student teachers, Lindsey Slater and Sarah McQery. These two first year teachers had a wonderful presentation that informed us of multiple ways that music can be used in the classroom to help boost student learning. The main idea of their seminar was that music can be a great way to begin student discussion. Music invokes feeling and students especially teenage students are prone to having a deep connection with music and are more likely to open up with a discussion over music rather than with literature. I loved this concept because it allows for the students to discuss their individual and unique ideas, which will help them feel comfortable with their teachers and their peers. 

As the conference came to a close I was getting restless and wanted to head to the exit. It's hard for me to sit still for almost two whole days and listen to speakers, but it gave me some insight on how students with ADD or ADHD feel when they have to remain seated throughout an entire school day. Tired and wanting some sort of stimulation I was getting antsy. I was certain the KATE stories to end the conference would be a snooze fest of what teachers had learned throughout the years, but my assumptions were completely wrong. The KATE stories segment was the highlight of the conference for me. Hearing personal stories from the speakers had the audience in tears and I did my best to hold mine back. I thought I had done a pretty good job of maintaining until the last speaker shared her story of her student, Nicole, who attended school the day after holding her dying mother in her arms. I wish for my students to live untroubled lives, but I know that that is often not the case. Hearing her story affirmed my belief that the student to teacher connection is vital and it is our job as educators to care for these students and their futures. 

Genre Reflection #1: Now Is the Time

Now is the time.

Like an anchor

Weighing me down

The chain is snapped.

Unleashed, I am finally free

To unfurl my dream.

To live out my goal.

30 plus eyes on me

Can I help them succeed?

Nerves sputter.

Words are unclear.

Now is the time.

I must be ready.

There is no turning back.

Heavy heartbeats turn to

Labored breath.

Eyes open and scanning,

Drinking in the atmosphere.

Now is the time.

A journey halted

Visions unquenched

Am I ready?

I must be, for

Self-doubt will creep.

Failure will be known.

Accomplishment felt,

And milestones crossed

But soon I will be alone.

Alone to grow.

Alone to learn.

No safety net.

A stumble proves

That progress is made.

A final chapter of a book.

Leading to a sequel

In the making.

First Unit Started and It Feels So Good!

I am right in the thick of teaching my first unit. Things are going well, maybe too well. I am nervous that my early success with teaching in the classroom will ultimately set me up for failure in the future, but maybe that's just my paranoia talking. My MT is pleased with most of the work I do. She tells me I'm doing a great job, but I feel like she's just saying that because she has the nurturing aspects of a great teacher, again probably the paranoia getting the best of me. I know I am doing well so far, but it feels weird to be good at something I thought I would suck at. 

The unit is over Of Mice and Men and the students seem to be enjoying it thus far. In my teaching infancy I have struggled with pacing my lessons. I try to go to quickly with the students. Two weeks into my teaching I have seen that something you or I think should take 15 minutes, easily turns into a 45 minute process. Understanding the time needed for a classroom full of students to complete their work has shown me that the majority of teaching what you want to teach probably doesn't happen because it takes the students quite a bit of time to do their work. For now it is a blessing because it allows my lessons that may run short some extra time so that I can fill the 90 minute class period. What I am trying to say is thank you, Lord for these slow working kids because they are making my life easier so far. 

Through the University of Michigan's Center for Research on Learning and Teaching I use six of their steps to formulate my teaching. 

1. Outline the Objectives

I wanted my students to learn about history and relationships during my unit. We discussed the 1930's as a class before reading the book and maybe one student had any knowledge on that time period. I also wanted the students to understand relationships between characters in a book and why they matter. I figured Lennie and George's relationship would help highlight that learning experience. 

2. Develop the Introduction

I planned a 90 minute introduction for the students to learn about the novel, the author, and the setting and historical context of the book. I feel that students most definitely need introductions of what they are being taught or else they will have zero clue as to what is going on. 

3. Plan Specific Learning Activities

Most of the work is done in class. The students and I read for 40 minutes and then they complete a lit circle worksheet. I feel like this has helped them gather evidence from the book instead of me telling them what they should be looking for, they find it themselves. 

4. Plan to Check for Understanding

Small and Large group discussion have been used to assess the students ability to comprehend the book. I grade their lit circle worksheets after every reading as well. This allows me to see if they are getting a deeper meaning from the book or still surface reading at this point. 

5. Develop a Conclusion and a Preview

The conclusion of this unit will be their DCA essay, or District Common Assessment. They will have to write using a prompt from the IUG. The students are not big on writing essays, so this will be a challenge for me. 

6. Create a Realistic Timeline

This might be the hardest thing so far. Learning the pacing of the students has taken some time, but my MT helped me map out my unit and I feel I am on track to finish on time. The day to day teaching is what has taken time getting used too. I can not cover as much material as I want to. 

Online Reflection #1

Voices fill the room asking me for help. I oblige their calls with the willing reluctance of a shipwreck survivor who turns to seawater to quench his thirst. I know that serving these voices will set forth a chain of events that one day might prove fruitful for their life endeavors. I ready myself. Underneath my skin, the nerves are thrashing like chains leashed upon a wild dog. Deep breaths of air were replaced by shallow and short inhalations. My chest tightened as my heart ramps up from a steady pace to an irregular thump-thump-thump thump-thump-thump, mimicking the knocking of a policeman at the door. My first day on the job had me questioning what I had gotten myself into.

My first days as a substitute/WSU student teacher were an overwhelming experience. I can remember having a mini-panic attack that consisted of an inner monologue arguing over whether I wanted to continue down this career path. I knew my nerves had control of me and after some experience I would eventually settle into the routine of things. Becoming a teacher has been a goal of mine since I was 17 and I wasn't going to let a first day of uncertainty deter me from what's important in my life. I eventually created a level of comfort for myself in the classroom and am currently embarking on establishing a foundation for which to build my teaching career. 

This semester thus far has been a great learning experience. This week I have started to take over the classroom a bit more as the students are working on finishing up their "Family" unit essays. The experience of editing and reading the students rough drafts has given me insight on the writing styles of young adults. Many of them write in a straightforward manner, tend not to use descriptions, and often their writing resembles the monotony of a shopping list. This is not to say their writing is bad, I enjoy their writing, and what I have been trying to teach them is to find their voice and create a personal connection with their essay. Reading Harry R. Noden's Image of Grammar has confirmed the types of teaching I have relayed to my students so far. Noden details five vital lessons to creating art as a writer: Painting with Participles, Painting with Absolutes, Painting with Appositives, Painting with Adjectives Shifted Out of Order, Painting with Action Verbs. I tried to teach these qualities to the students before reading this chapter and I wish I could go back and re-teach them because I feel I could highlight this Noden's first chapter as a guide to creating writing that is worth reading.  

Classroom behavior management is an aspect that I don't believe I lack, yet I know I will struggle this semester due to the fact that there are two teachers in the classroom and some students will undoubtedly try to test me because they know I am not fully in charge. That issue hasn't arose so far, but I can see it coming. As for now things seem to be going smoothly. I have noticed that the students don't have an issue with listening to my instruction, yet they do have some problems with seeing me as a teacher. I don't have the standard teacher voice that sends chills down their spine. Instead, I am sure of myself and soft spoken. I do have the ability to raise my voice and put an end to undesired behavior, but for now I am trying to connect with the students, and I figure showing interest and compassion first would serve me better, as opposed to being seen as an authoritative figure. I am not sure whether this is a mistake and am likely to find out in two weeks when I begin teaching my seven week unit. 

I have a journal for the days that I teach. I jot down the events of the day: what went wrong, what went right, what I should change, and what I should keep the same. I note student behavior as well. I can monitor if they were having a bad day and need some time to be solitary, or which students emerged from their shell and actively participated in class that hour. Referring back to my notes will eventually help me to become a successful teacher. I can look back and see what worked and didn't work for a certain set of students and accommodate or modify certain aspects of my teaching or classroom in order to create an environment that helps them learn. 

Teaching Goals

Goal for Pre Student Teaching

My goals for myself and my students are similar. I expect them to what to come to school ready to learn, and on the same token I should be expected to come to school ready to teach. Both the students and myself will be learning a lot this year and my devotion to planning unit guides and creating a healthy classroom environment will ensure that the students get the education they need. I plan to teach the students at a pace that is conducive to their learning level. I have high expectation for what it means for me to be a teacher and how the content should be covered, but I need to remember that for some of these students writing a full length essay will be a crowning achievement for them, and that's beautiful! Some on the other hand will need a heavier workload and will not need as much help from me in regards to their education process. I'm fine with that as well. I want to make sure I can provide each student with the education that will help them the most. If that means modifying the lesson or accommodating to their needs then I'll do it. 

This year I am concerning myself with making mistakes. I'm not worried about mistakes, but I am hoping to make them. I want things to be a little messy and the students to give me a funny look. If everything goes smooth then I will be wary of the upcoming semester when I am a true student teacher. Things should go wrong and when they do go wrong it will allow me to reflect on what it is that I need to work on. My students are outspoken, so I know that they will not have a problem with feedback regarding my teaching skills. My goal for this semester is to make mistakes because it means that I am trying something out of my comfort zone and I can fine tune my mishaps into a vehicle that will help propel my teaching prowess. 

Lastly, I just want to have fun. I have had a blast getting to know this kids this week and I can't wait to see how they change and grow in the classroom. Getting the shy girl to open up, or having the class jester say something thought provoking or brilliant is one of the reasons I want to be a teacher. It's less about me and more about them and their growth as young adults. I am looking forward to getting to know my 3rd hour class and eventually getting to know close to 100 more next semester.  

Student Teaching Reflections

This is my reflection blog. From this outlet I will express my joy, excitement, sorrow, and eventual decent into madness during my early attempts at teaching.